Hypocholesterolemic activity of Crataegus aronia L. (Rosaceae) is therapeutically praised. Its potent antiobesity (P < 0.001, n = 6 - 8) as well as marked triacylglycerol-reducing efficacies (P < 0.001, n = 6 - 8) in 10 weeks-high cholesterol diet (HCD) fed rats are demonstrated. Pancreatic triacylglycerol lipase (PL), α-amylase and α-glucosidase are an interesting pharmacological target for the management of dyslipidemia, atherosclerosis, diabetes and obesity. Comparable to acarbose, acute starch induced postprandial hyperglycaemia as well glycemic excursions in normoglycemic overnight fasting rats was highly significantly (P < 0.001) dampened by C. aronia 100, 200 and 400 mg/Kg b.wt aqueous extracts (AE), but not acute glucose evoked postprandial hyperglycaemia increments, unlike diabetes pharmaco-therapeutics metformin and glipizide. C. aronia aerial parts as well as fruits AEs (0.1 - 10 mg/mL) were identified as in vitro dual inhibitors of α-amylase and α-glucosidase with respective IC50 (mg/mL) of 2.1 ± 0.3 and 3.5 ± 0.7. Still, it lacked on in vitro hindrance of glucose movement, dissimilar to guar gum. Equivalent to orlistat (PL IC50 of 0.1 ± 0.0 μg/mL), C. aronia tested AEs and its purified bioactive phytoconstituents; quercetin and rutin, inhibited highly substantially in a dose dependent trend PL in vitro (n = 3), in an ascending order of obtained PL-IC50 (μg/mL): quercetin; 30.1 ± 2.8, rutin; 77.3 ± 11.7, C. aronia aerial parts; 225.2 ± 33.4 and C. aronia fruits; 286.1 ± 37.4. Flavonoid-rich C. aronia, as a functional food and a nutraceutical, modulating gastrointestinal carbohydrate and lipid digestion and absorption, maybe be advocated as an exquisite and potential candidate for combinatorial obesity-diabetes prevention and phytotherapy.