A Comparison of Relationship Behaviors

Brian Eberly, Robert Pasnak, Keith Renshaw, Linda Chrosniak

George Mason University, Fairfax, USA.

DOI: 10.4236/psych.2013.411122                

Abstract

Pro-relationship behaviors—commitment, accommodation, sacrifice, and forgiveness—differ across relationships with parents, friends, and romantic partners. In order to test the extent to which the type of relationship plays a role in how willing a person is to accommodate, forgive, or sacrifice, participants were administered a series of questionnaires. The associations of these pro-relationship behaviors with commitment were compared across relationships. Although the tendency to accommodate, sacrifice, and forgive in one relationship was significantly correlated with the tendency to behave similarly in other relationships, there were significant differences from one relationship to another. For example, participants were significantly less likely to sacrifice for a friend than for a parent or a romantic partner. Conversely, participants were found to be significantly less accommodating for a parent than they were for a friend or for a romantic partner. Also, participants were significantly more likely to forgive friends than they were to forgive a romantic partner. All relationship behaviors were significantly correlated with commitment across all three relationship types, but the strength of these correlations was not consistent. This inconsistency is probably due to the differences in expectations that people have for different relationships. The friendships of college students are usually temporary, as friends graduate and move on, whereas relationships with parents last until death. Although there were inconsistencies, there were many significant correlations that showed that behavior in one relationship did predict behavior in other relationships. Just as behavior towards one’s parents was related to behavior towards one’s friends, it was also predictive of behavior towards romantic partners. Whether this applies to adolescents from other cultures, and whether it applies to non-university students, remains to be determined.

Keywords

Friends; Parents; Romantic Partners; Relationships

Conflicts of Interest

The authors declare no conflicts of interest.

References

[1]	Aron, A., & Aron, E. N. (1986). Love as the expansion of self: Understanding attraction and satisfaction. New York: Hemisphere.
[2]	Aron, A., Aron, E. N., & Smollen, D. (1992). Inclusion of Other in the Self Scale and the structure of interpersonal closeness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63, 596-612. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.63.4.596
[3]	Agnew, C. R., Rusbult, C. E., Van Lange, P. A. M., & Langston, C. A. (1998). Cognitive interdependence: mental representation of close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1373-1395. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.4.939
[4]	Bowlby, J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. I. Aetiology and psychopathology in the light of attachment theory. An expanded version of the Fiftieth Maudsley Lecture, delivered before the Royal College of Psychiatrists, 19 November 1976. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 130, 201-210. http://dx.doi.org/10.1192/bjp.130.3.201
[5]	Braithwaite, S. R., Selby, E. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Forgiveness and Relationship Satisfaction: Mediating Mechanisms. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 551-559. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0024526
[6]	Bui, K. V. T., Peplau, L. A., & Hill, C. T. (1996). Testing the rusbult model of relationship commitment and stability in a 15-year study of heterosexual couples. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22, 1244-1257. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/01461672962212005
[7]	Drigotas, S. M., Rusbult, C. E., & Verette, J. (1999). Level of commitment, mutuality of commitment, and couple wellbeing. Personal Relationships, 6, 389-409. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1999.tb00199.x
[8]	Felmlee, D., Sweet, E., & Sinclair, H. (2012). Gender rules: Same- and cross-gender friendships norms. Sex Roles, 66, 518-529. http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s11199-011-0109-z
[9]	Fincham, F. D., Hall, J., & Beach, S. R. H. (2006). Forgiveness in marriage: Current status and future directions. Family Relations, 55, 415-427. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2005.callf.x-i1
[10]	Finkel, E. J., & Campbell, W. K. (2001). Self-control and accommodation in close relationships: An interdependence analysis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81, 263. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.81.2.263
[11]	Finkel, E. J., Rusbult, C. E., Kumashiro, M., & Hannon, P. A. (2002). Dealing with betrayal in close relationships: Does commitment promote forgiveness? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82, 956-974. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.82.6.956
[12]	Hartup, W. W. (1992). Having friends, making friends, and keeping friends: Relationships as educational contexts. ERIC Digest. http://ericeece.org/pubs/digests/1992/Hartup92.html
[13]	Hartup, W. W., Laursen, B., Stewart, M. I., & Eastenson, A. (1988). Conflict and the friendship relations of young children. Child Development, 59, 1590-1600. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/1130673
[14]	Hays, W. L. (1988). Statistics (4th ed.). Fort Worth, TX: Holt, Reinhart, & Winston, Inc.
[15]	Hendricks, S. S. (1988). A generic measure of relationship satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 50, 93-98. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/352430
[16]	Hoyt, W. T., Fincham, F. D., McCullough, M. E., Maio, G., & Davila, J. (2005). Responses to interpersonal transgressions in families: Forgivingness, forgivability, and relationship-specific effects. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89, 375-394. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.89.3.375
[17]	John, O. P., Naumann, L. P., & Soto, C. J. (2008). Paradigm shift to the integrative big-five trait taxonomy: history, measurement, and conceptual issues. In O. P. John, R. W. Robins, & L. A. Pervin (Eds.), Handbook of personality: Theory and research (pp. 114-158). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
[18]	Kearns, J. N., & Fincham, F. D. (2004). A Prototype analysis of forgiveness. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 838-835. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0146167204264237
[19]	Kelley, H. H., & Thibaut, J. (1978). Interpersonal relations: A theory of interdependence. New York: Wiley.
[20]	Kubacka, K. E., Finkenauer, C., Rusbult, C. E., & Keijsers, L. (2011). Maintaining close relationships: Gratitude as a motivator and a detector of maintenance behavior. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37, 1362-1375. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0146167211412196
[21]	Kumashiro, M., Finkel, E. J., & Rusbult, C. E. (2002). Self-respect and pro-relationship behavior in marital relationships. Journal of Personality, 70, 1009-1050. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/1467-6494.05030
[22]	Martz, J. M., Verette, J., Arriaga, X. B., Slovik, L. F., Cox, C. L., & Rusbult, C. E. (1998). Positive illusions in close relationships. Personal Relationships, 5, 150-181.
[23]	McCullough, M. E., Rachal, K. C., Sandage, S. J., Worthington Jr., E. L., Brown, S. W., & Hight, T. L. (1998). Interpersonal forgiving in close relationships: II. Theoretical elaboration and measurement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 1586-1603. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.6.1586
[24]	McCullough, M. E., & Hoyt, W. T. (2002). Transgression-related motivational dispositions: Personality substrates of forgiveness and their links to the big five. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28, 1556-1573. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/014616702237583
[25]	Menzies-Toman, D. A., & Lydon, J. E. (2005). Commitment-motivated benign appraisals of partner transgressions: Do they facilitate accommodation? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 111-128. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265407505049324
[26]	Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (1996). The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of satisfaction in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 79-98. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.70.1.79
[27]	Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (1996). The Self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships: Love is not blind, but prescient. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 1155-1180. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.71.6.1155
[28]	Murray, S. L. (1999). The quest for conviction: Motivated cognition in romantic relationships. Psychological Inquiry, 10, 23-34. http://dx.doi.org/10.1207/s15327965pli1001_3
[29]	Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Collins, N. L. (2006). Optimizing assurance: The risk regulation system in relationships. Psychological Bulletin, 132, 641-666. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.132.5.641
[30]	Renshaw, K. D., McKnight, P., Caska, C. M., & Blais, R. K. (2011). The utility of the relationship assessment scale in multiple types of relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, 435-447. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265407510377850
[31]	Rusbult, C. E. (1980). Commitment and satisfaction in romantic associations: A test of the investment model. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 16, 172-186. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/0022-1031(80)90007-4
[32]	Rusbult, C. E. (1983). A longitudinal test of the investment model: The development (and deterioration) of satisfaction and commitment in heterosexual involvements. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45, 101-117. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.45.1.101
[33]	Rusbult, C. E., Verette, J., Whitney, G. A., Slovik, L. F., & Lipkus, I. (1991). Accommodation processes in close relationships: Theory and preliminary empirical evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60, 53-78. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.1.53
[34]	Rusbult, C. E., & Buunk, B. P. (1993). Commitment processes in close relationships: An interdependence analysis. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 175-204. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/026540759301000202
[35]	Rusbult, C. E., & Van Lange, P. A. M. (1996). Interdependence processes. In E. T. Higgins, & A. Kruglanski (Eds.), Social psychology: Handbook of basic principles (pp. 564-596). New York: Guilford.
[36]	Rusbult, C. E., Martz, J. M., & Agnew, C. R. (1998). The investment model scale: Measuring commitment level, satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size. Personal Relationships, 5, 357-391. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1998.tb00177.x
[37]	Rusbult, C. E., & Van Lange, P. A. M. (2003). Interdependence, interaction, and relationships. Annual Review of Psychology, 54, 351-375. http://dx.doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.54.101601.145059
[38]	Rusbult, C. E., & Van Lange, P. A. M. (2008). Why we need interdependence theory. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 2, 2049-2070. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2008.00147.x
[39]	Taylor, D. A., Altman, I., & Sorrentino, R. (1969). Interpersonal exchange as a function of rewards and costs and situational factors: Expectancy, confirmation-disconfirmation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 5, 324-339. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/0022-1031(69)90057-2
[40]	VanderDrift, L. E., Lewandowski, G. W., & Agnew, C. R. (2010). Reduced self-expansion in current romance and interest in relationship alternatives. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, 356-373. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265407510382321
[41]	Van Lange, P. A. M., Drigotas, S. M., Rusbult, C. E., Arriaga, X. B., Witcher, B. S., & Cox, C. L. (1997). Willingness to sacrifice in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72, 1373-1395. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.72.6.1373
[42]	Van Doorn, M. D., Branje, S. J. T., VanderValk, I. E., De Goede, I. H. A., & Meeus, W. H. J. (2011). Longitudinal spillover effects of conflict resolution styles between adolescent-parent relationships and adolescent friendships. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 157-161. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0022289
[43]	Wieselquist, J., Rusbult, C. E., Foster, C. A., & Agnew, C. R. (1999). Interpersonal relationships and group processes: Commitment, prorelationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, 942-966. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.77.5.942
[44]	Wieselquist, J. (2009). Interpersonal forgiveness, trust, and the investment model of commitment. Journal of Social and Personal Relationship, 26, 531-548. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265407509347931